So I constantly wait. At Sonoma, Priscilla and I would be on our computers waiting for class. Then at night we would wait for our shows to come on and then we would wait for the weekends. Then we would wait for the next holiday to come or the next trip home. In never felt like we were living each day, but rather waiting for the next moment. No surprise I still do this.
Now that I live at home, I wait. I wait for someone to call me back for an interview, I wait for the next weekend to arrive where I go see Andrew or he comes up. I wait for the next birthday party to be announced or now the next pre-wedding event to happen. Grandma and I do things during the day, but then are waiting till my mom gets home for work. I mean it just goes back to how I don't do anything. My sister said I hang around at 95 year old demented women pretty much 7 days a week since I live at home and then I spend the rest of my time on the phone with Andrew. So is it really a surprise as to why I am feeling so blahhhhhhh and stressed and what the heck am I doing with my life?!
A couple of things:
1. the people I talk to the most (friends wise) are Shelley and Andrew. Both of whom have full time jobs doing what they want to do. I talked to Priscilla last night and realized that she has so many of the same frustrations as I do, that I am not alone! The other 2 are just the exception!
2. With the economy today, I have to work even harder to find a job, bc there is just nothing out there!
3. I really need to narrow down to figure out what I might want to do, so i know what type of jobs to even look for.
4. I really need to find some hobbies.
I have come up with solutions, or rather my mom and sister helped me:
1. My mom and I will join a book club. Who isn't in a book club these days?! I have been reading so much and my mom LOVES to read, so why not do it together? great idea!
2. Since I was always playing sports when i was younger, I never got into instruments. I really want to know how to play the piano, and we have one in our house! My mom use to play and wouldn't mind starting up again. So I will look into finding some lessons for us!
3. Alex mentioned a Wednesday night group at her niece's church. Go once a week to a church group to talk to other women? Sounds perfect and something I need to help me with my spiritual journey. Now I just got to get Alex on board!
4. Don't be afraid to spend a little money on coffee or a drink here and there to stay in touch with friends. I get so weird with money. I want to save it all and not spend it, unless its on some clothing that I feel I really need hahah.
I believe really adapting to all of these things with give me more of a social outlook and help me personally. Along the way I might even figure out what I really want to do with my life. I also might want to start to figure that out now, so I can do an internship while there are no jobs, so that when jobs come up I can add things to my resume experience!
All in all, I am stuck in LA. I would like to move to closer to Andrew, but moving there tomorrow wouldn't solve some of the other complex feelings I have. I need to live my life now, rather than waiting for what is ahead of me!
Do all people live by waiting or just me?
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I feel the same way! I just go through the week, going to work, going home, waiting for the night so I can watch my favorite shows, then waiting for the weekend if there's some event in the future. See, right now I'm waiting for the end of April because that is when my life might fall apart... my lease is up, I don't make enough money to move somewhere new, I need a new job.. etc etc. Good point about how people live their life waiting for the next event. And good idea on those hobbies. Book clubs and piano lessons sound fun!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how you say you're stuck in LA, and I feel like I'm stuck here.. but in a couple of months I may (hopefully not!) have to move back to SD. Can we switch locations please? You can go to SD and I'll go to LA. Haha.